Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
