i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize