would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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