how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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