Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
