Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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