i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
