I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
