So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
