maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
