How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize