me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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