And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
