HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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