Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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