First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
