I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
