i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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