Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
