I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize