The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
