literally had 100 drinks last night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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