it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
