His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
