I think i peed on brittanys purse
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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