at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize