That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
