Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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