I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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