the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize