we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
