And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
