At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
