He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
