The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
