It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
