They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
