what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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