I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
