Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
