it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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