So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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