Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
