covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
