whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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