So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize