Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
