Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
