shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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