Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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