i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
