i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
