Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im holly from the hills drunk
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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