i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
