yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
