Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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