In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Randomize