so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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