Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
