I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize