like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
