My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just want to make out with him forever
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
