Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
