next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
