I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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