she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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