I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
