The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
a search helicopter?!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
