I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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