just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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